Well, it's right there.

Today I was driving home from some errands with Bravest, and a thought crossed my mind. I forget exactly what it was, but it was something that we might do next year, or maybe the year after that.

And then I had to think, "If..."

Now, of course the "if" in life was always there. (It starts with the second letter.) But that's not how our minds work. We don't make plans or commitments based on "if". We say, "Until we are parted by death," but we don't mean it until the time comes to do it. This is a mercy; if we knew how tenuous our hold on life really is, we'd be afraid to step out of the house in the morning.

I don't like this enlarged "If" in my life. I want to replace it with the "when" I had before.

But I suppose it's better than the far, far too many "sometime" statements that have taken up space and time in my life, from "Sometime I'll write a book," to "Sometime I'll throw out everything that doesn't fit any more." I can at least work on those while waiting to see if this "if" gets reduced to a more standard size.