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When people ask me how I'm doing, I sometimes provide a list of things I've been up to. Like discussing my hypothetical funeral with the priest at my church.
And sometimes, this causes a freakout. "YOU'RE NOT DYING!" they nearly shout. "DON'T TALK LIKE THAT!"
Um. Sorry if it bothers you, but I am so dying, and so are you.
Every day I wake up, I'm presented with a fresh set of pleasures, challenges, and opportunities -- and I am also one day closer to my dissolution. I've known this fact for years, and I'm very comfortable with it. Every breath I draw draws me closer to the terminus of life as we know it, and to the point where either I shall find that faith merges into sight, or there will be no "I" to find anything.
This doesn't scare me, and it shouldn't scare anyone else. I am not being "negative" when I plan my funeral, or price cemetery plots, or make a will, or otherwise prepare for The Inevitable. I'm making sure that the mess I leave behind is as small as possible, that the people who love me will have one more chance to understand the things that have been most important to me, and that those who have to carry on without me can do so as far as I am able to help them.
What's morbid, to me, is people who are afraid to think about death, who view her as an enemy instead of our merciful sister.
So please don't tell me I'm not dying. Look to your own life, and make sure that, if you are called to leave it suddenly, you are ready.
If you get to Heaven before I do,
(Comin' for to carry me home!)
Tell all my friends I'm a-comin' too.
(Comin' for to carry me home!)
Swing low, sweet chariot!
Comin' for to carry me home!
Swing low, sweet chariot!
Comin' for to carry me home!
Later this month and into August I am doing a three part series called "Dancing with the Grim Reaper" which is essentially death education for the live and healthy. I was hoping for a dozen people to sign up and I had to cap it at 50. With your permission, Lirazel, I'd like to quote this piece. (And I'll email you the syllabus if you'd like--I'd love to get your take on it, now that you're such an expert and all! (I.e., it's a little more upfront and personal than just a theoretical possibility.) There will be several people who have signed up who are doing the chemo now. Would that be OK?
ReplyDeleteWell, I figure I already like naps so I'm all set.
ReplyDeleteLife: nobody gets out of it alive.
ReplyDeleteThat said, let's keep to the dying by inches right now as opposed to miles. :)
-kat