Cognitive Disconnect

I was told, "Bring FILMS of your three most recent mammograms, the ultrasound, the biopsy, etc. NOT a CD; FILMS."

So, I asked the radiology dept at my health plan for FILMS. Naturally, this request got screwed up; when I arrived at the radiology desk I was presented with three CDs.

"But I need FILMS!!" I wailed. And I immediately contacted the intake people at Dana-Farber, and yes, if at all possible, they wanted FILMS.

So the nice radiology lady called her equally nice friend at another branch, which is the only place where FILMS are printed these days. See, my original FILMS were brought up to Somerville when I requested copies, digitized, and sent back. Somerville doesn't make prints; only Kenmore makes prints.

The nice guy at Kenmore (way into downtown Boston) makes some prints, and after a brief pause from schlepping for lunch I schlepped in there for the FILMS.

And when I had them, I called the intake lady again to tell her I had FILMS! "YAY," she said, "Those are much clearer than digital images!"

Umm.

"You realize," I said, "That what I have here are not ORIGINAL FILMS. Those were sent back to the warehouse on Friday, and I won't be able to get them until Wed. or Thurs. if you need them. These are FILMS of DIGITIZED IMAGES of FILMS, because you said you wanted FILMS."

"I'll let you tell the doctors that. They want films, they have films."

Boy, is this relationship going to get off to a great start.

Now look, I understand that a film isn't going to break down into pixels. And I also know that because I am seeking treatment away from my HMO network, there's going to be some communication breakdowns that I will have to navigate.

I am still pissed at my health plan for not knowing what The Best Cancer Institute In The Country wants when they say "FILMS." But I am ALSO pissed at TBCIITC for 1) not getting with the Program (digital mammography is here to stay, soon there will be no films at all, what will you do then?), and 2) not instructing their intake people to as for ORIGINAL films, if films they must have.

Oi.